Wine BLAHging with Carlito Caz'zate - Celine

Jul 4, 2009


Roberto has allowed me to write on his wine blog. I’ve been way too busy and important to keep up with one on my own so here it goes.


My ex-girlfriend is pregnant. It’s definitely not mine because when she rebounded after she rebounded from me with me, I made sure, hey, everything was taken care of. And if Marco is reading this, good, because he should know how to take care of a woman. You spend too much time living with your mother, you crazy mook, you deserve it. Move out and get a job, Celine deserves better.

But yeah, she’s pregnant.

I was reading the other day while I was at work (Café Amaretto in Niagara Falls, come in for the lasagna sandwich, it’s so good and great with our Donizetti Chianti 1925) that women can still drink a bit of alcohol when they’re with child. Now, I’m not saying you should get your wife or girlfriend liquored up when she’s got a bean in the soon-to-be-bread basket, just watch it. Okay.
A half a glass of wine is not going to hurt. Half a glass.

Truth is, Celine drank a whole bottle when I tried to break up with her again (third time now… I know…I know).

It was a nice evening. I just came back from an Italian wine tasting in Toronto. I stole some sample bottles from the Frescobaldi table when the agent wasn’t looking. I felt bad, she was kinda cute but hey, they owed me those Frescos when they fired my grandfather after he fell into one of their fermentation vats way back in the 1950s. Claimed he was drinking too hard but no, I believe my Nonno - he was drunk after he got out.

So Celine and I got to talking. I had enough wine to say, listen, go back to Marco, I’m not the one for you (by the way, this wasn’t the rebound night but there was a little smoochy).

She started to cry. She yelled at me and before I knew it, she drank an entire bottle of Brunello di Montalcino. What a bitch. She was like hey, Carlito, you think you’re better than me (I am) and you don’t think I know that. I said hey, Celine, no, I love you but I love us being apart, as friends. Help me out…

She got really nasty, threw the bottle at my head. I still got the bump. I wanted to hurt her, I was so close, biting my lips, clenching my fist but I had to hold back, I wasn’t going to be like my dad. No way. If I’m going to love someone, I’m going to do it right and they’ll have to do me right by not drinking a whole Brunello without me. The nerve of that woman.

So I was the better man. I took my keys, my stolen bottle (I still have the 2003 Castelgiocondo so I can’t complain) and headed out the door. I had been drinking so I forgot my shoes. That was okay, Celine threw them at me in the front yard.

I got in the car and I almost started to cry, I felt so bad. My head ached, I didn’t know if I could get home. I knew my mom would kill me if she found out I had drunk and drove. But I couldn’t stay at Celine’s.

I put the car in reverse, looked out the back window when ‘wham’ she had jumped on the hood.
“Hey, what are you doing!?”
“Take me back!”
“Go back inside, you’ve had too much to drink!”
“Carlito, I’m pregnant!”
“No, you’re not!”
“Yes, I am!”
“It’s not mine.”
“Maybe it is.”
“I know it isn’t! I’m always safe.”
“You’re right,” she cried, shaking her head, “It’s Marco’s. I’m sorry.”
“Why would I want to raise Marco’s kid? That mook!”
“Stay with me, hold me!”
“No. Go back to Marco, his mom’s a good cook. You can live in his basement.”
“I knew it. You don’ love me.”
“I do. I’d love you to get off the hood so’s I can go. My head hurts and you’re crazy. Now get off the car.”
“No, no…”
“Get off, Celine! What’s the matter! You going to have a kid so why would I want to be with a woman that drinks when she’s pregnant?”

She said some nasty things I don’t think I can write here so use your imagination.
She cried and cried. I smacked the wheel.

“Get off, for the last time, get off, go to sleep. Go!”
“No, no, I love you Carlito!”

Yeah, so I did what any guy would do: I drove off. She hung on for about four blocks. She started to get tired just as I slowed down on Lundy’s Lane then got off. Thank god it was near Mick and Angelo. They got good food there. I know the bartender and called him on my cell as soon as I saw Celine walking towards the place.

Yeah, I know. I know what you’re thinking. It’s good thing I got the Castelgiocondo. I thought I’d save it for a special occasion. I’m drinking it right now. Here’s to you Celine. Remember, if you’re going to drink, half a glass. Maybe her kid might turn all right. But if Marco’s the father, nah.





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Variety, Varietal; Vitis, Euvitis

Jul 1, 2009

“If you wish to converse with me, define your terms.” – Voltaire

My mother is an editor. If there is anything she values more than style it is clarity. Clarity for her means the reader is not confused, that ideas have been defined and described clearly in a work of non-fiction. When reading a work of fiction, she looks to the characters, their actions, their movements, the scenery laid out in confident prose. It is so easy to muddle up good writing by misusing words.

In the world of wine-speak and wine journalism, I find there is a grammatical issue that continually eludes being addressed, if not corrected. If we don’t use our words correctly and respect the tenets of grammar and proper usage, how are we to further our education in matters of wine?

I am talking about the misuse of such words as ‘variety’ and ‘varietal’ and how the distinction relates to the ‘great wine scheme of things’.

VARIETY & VARIETAL
I first came across the distinction and misuse of these words while attending the Wine Studies Education Trust classes at the Art Institute in Vancouver. In a random comment, a fellow student, (who was also a server at prestigious wine bar), used the word ‘varietal’ instead of ‘variety.’

Iain Phillips, our instructors groaned. You could actually see one of his temples collapse on one side of his forehead.

“I’m sorry, but that’s not how you use the word. I really can’t stand how people can know so much about wine but not know which word is used for which.”

The class became silent. The server blushed with embarrassment.

“I don’t mean to pick on you. I’m sorry. But I figure everyone should hear this so we can spread the word. A variety is a type. Pinot Gris, Cabernet, Chardonnay. Those are all varieties. When you go to the grocery store and look at apples, do you see varietals?”

The server shook her head.

“It would sound ridiculous if you referred to a Mackintosh as a varietal.”

“Of course.”

“Again, varieties. The word ‘varietal’ is an adjective, describing a wine that is of a single variety. Tonight we had a Valpolicella. That is a blended wine. But next week we’ll have a Nero d’Avola varietal wine. The wine isn’t a blend. So we call it a varietal. Do you see the difference?”

We all did.

“So basically when talking about grapes, we say variety. When we talk about wines, we use ‘varietal’. So the variety is Chardonnay in this varietal wine. Would you say that is one of the better ways to explain it?” The whole class nodded.

Iain smiled, his temple restored to normal.

YOU SAY VARIETY, I SAY VARIETAL… WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?
Listening to my instructor, I knew he had a point. Since finishing my courses, I became even more passionate about this distinction and the need to respect grammar. I admit, I too began to groan when I heard ‘varietal’ used instead of variety to describe a grape and not a wine. Sometimes it was a customer speaking in a wine store, sometimes a wine educator at a function. Sometimes it was a colleague and, believe me, I had a bone to pick with him.

When I read wine publications, I groan even harder thinking of the essayist Michel de Montaigne who once wrote: “We set our stupidities in dignity when we set them in print”.

Thankfully, some journalists like Jancis Robinson uses the word ‘variety’ when talking about the latest trends in grape-growing. But turn to another publication or flip back a few pages from Jancis and you find someone describing the Riesling grape as a varietal. Please, please just give me consistency.

I know I must sound like a hard-ass here but I have my reasons (and I’ve probably created a few enemies). Some people might say hey… ‘varietal’, ‘variety’ who cares…? A small matter of semantics. Bend a little; take it easy.

We need structure to communicate. If people started treating Stop signs like Yield signs because they refuse to respect the difference, wouldn’t you be concerned?

VARIETY IN THE SCIENTIFIC SCHEME OF THINGS
I love words and highly revere their use, especially when it comes to science which relies upon such words as genus, sub-genera, species to help us understand lineage and category, especially in matters of grape vines.

I decided to take a page from Iain and go a little further. I began with my Oxford Canadian Dictionary of Current English, I found the words Varietal and Variety.

In regard to the former, definition ‘2’ was the most pertinent: (of wine) made from a single variety of grape. Okay, so far so good.

Right below, I found a number of definitions for Variety with 5 Variety - Biology - a subspecies. A subspecies = variety. This was relevant.

Next I went to Tim Unwin. Opening his masterful book, Wine and the Vine: An Historical Geography of Viticulture and the Wine Trade, I turned to the section ‘Ampeloraphy and the Vine’ to gain a better understanding of where variety fits in with the scientific scheme.

Here is what I learned from Tim:

We have Vitis at the top which is a genus. Genus is a taxonomic (the science of classification of organisms OED) category. Vitis is one of 14 genera in the family Vitacea (a family of flowering plants that include the grape and Virginia creeper).

The genus Vitis is known to be divided into two sub-genera: Euvitis or the true grape and Muscadinia, whose fruit is known as Muscadine. (Euvitis fossils have been unearthed in both Eurasia and North America while Muscadinia remains have been found in North America only.) Focusing on Euvitis we find another split, this time between the Eurasian grape species and the North American (not to be confused with the sub-genera, Muscadinia). In the former, we find our vitis vinifera amongst many other species we may have never heard of including: vitis amurensis, vitis armata, vitis lanata, vitis reticulata. In the latter, we have vitis labrusca along with vitis californica, vitis cinerea, vitis riparia and vitis rupestris to name a few.

Vitis vinifera is the species of vine that provides us with the world’s wines. There are thousands upon thousands of different vinifera vine varieties. Some of the more famous have been used in the making of blended and varietal wines: Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Chardonnay, Riesling, Sauvignon Blanc etc…

Under vitis labrusca we find varieties such as Concord (our childhood Welch’s Grape Juice), Catawba, Delaware and Niagara varieties.

Also under North American species, we find vitis riparia. Now, if you have ever tried a Baco Noir from Ontario or a Marechal Foch from British Columbia, the grapes used for these wines are called hybrids. A hybrid is the offspring of two varieties of different species. In the case of Baco, (named after French nurseryman, Francois Baco), this is a result of crossing Folle Blanche (used to make Cognac) from the vitis vinifera species with a variety from vitis riparia.

Marechal Foch, (named after an Alsatian WWI General and bred by Eugene Kuhlmann of Alsace), is a result of crossing Goldriesling from the vitis vinifera family with what some believe to be a variety from a cross between a vitis riparia and vitis rupestris (native to the southern states).

Another famous hybrid you may have come across is Vidal, used in Canadian Icewine in both Niagara and the Okanagan Valley of B.C.

A cross, unlike a hybrid is the offspring of two varieties within the same species. In Germany, Riesling and Sylvaner (both of the vitis vinifera species) have been used to create such hardy grapes as Scheurebe and Rieslaner. In South Africa, Cinsault and Pinot Noir have crossed to create the Pinotage variety.

THE CHANGING WORLD OF WINE
In the Arcade Dictionary of Word Origins, our word ‘variety’ is a derivative of the Latin word varius – ‘speckled, variegated, changeable’. The world of wine is filled with changes. There are varieties of grapes like Bobal, Albariño, Godello and Verdejo that are slowly emerging in Spain. But will they be able to compete with world-dominating Shiraz, Chardonnay, Riesling and Sauvignon Blanc?

In the past thirty years, there have also been changes regarding the emergence of particular wine regions, including Jumilla in Spain and Vacqueyras in the Rhone Valley of Southern France. And in the next thirty years, many more will arrive on the scene, perhaps superseding some of the ones we revere now.

Will we be talking about these grapes and regions instead of our present-standby in the years to come? Who knows? Change is exciting.

But let us not change our grammar especially when it holds a scientific basis. We respect road signs because they help us navigate the confusing world of roads. If we respect words when talking about wine and use them in accordance with their definition, we can avoid confusion, understand each other and converse as Voltaire would want us to.

And hopefully, Iain Phillips temple won’t collapse again.

Bibliography
Ayto, John, Arcade Dictionary of Word Origins. Little Brown, New York, 1990.
Barber, Katherine (ed.) Oxford Canadian Dictionary of Current English. Oxford Univ. Press, Toronto, 2005.
Montaigne, Michel de, The Essays. Trans. M.A. Screech. Penguin Press, London, 1991.
Robinson, Jancis (ed.), The Oxford Companion to Wine. Oxford Univ. Press, Oxford, 2006
Unwin, Tim, Wine and the Vine: An Historical Geography of Viticulture and the Wine Trade. Routledge, London, 1991.

"...he was a poet and hated the imprecise." - Rainer Maria Rilke

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In-Depth: Deciphering - German Wine Labels

Jun 30, 2009

INTRODUCTION

I know what you’re thinking already. Did I step back into time? Is this an old German wine label?

German wine labels have been known to exhibit a Teutonic quality, with illustrations of the Rhine and medieval villages while featuring old Germanic script. Not to mention the amount of writing on the label, all of it in a foreign language contributing to what most wine marketers and buyers would call a ‘nightmare’.

But once you get past the label’s archaic illustrations (I find them quite beautiful myself but I have a fascination with German culture) and learn how to deconstruct the label, you’ll find that the Germans have made it a lot easier for you than the French or Italians.


DECIPHERING
Greg Nees in his fascinating book, Germany: Unraveling an Enigma, provides some of the most fundamental insights into the German people. He writes of their need for order, knowledge and clarity.

Germany wine labels offer all of this. Let’s break this label down together.

JOH. JOS. CHRISTOFFEL ERBEN – this is the name of the wine producer/estate in Germany (and a personal favourite of mine). You will always find a producer’s name on the front of the bottle.

2003 – The year of the vintage. So far so good. Easy, right?
ÜRZIGER WÜRZGARTEN RIESLING AUSLESE - Alright now, don’t panic, we can handle this.
Ürzig is the name of the town. The name of the town always ends in the ‘er’ on a
label. (Basically, it is the possessive, ie. Ürzig’s’…)
Würzgarten is the vineyard name. So the first title would read in English as: Ürzig’s Würzgarten.
Riesling (pronounced REEZ-ling) is the name of the grape.
Auslese or selected harvest (lese = harvest, aus = out) is the time when the grapes were picked. The grapes used to make this wine were harvested late in a warm season. These wines tend to be more expensive because the growers picked individual bunches. Most likely this wine is going to be medium-sweetness.

QUALITÄTSWEIN mit PRÄDIKAT (QmP) – literally translated as ‘Quality wine with specific attributes’. These are top of the class. The wines are natural with no Chaptalisation (a process by which grape juice or sugar is added to get higher levels of alcohol) is allowed.

You will also find on other German wine labels:

QUALITÄTSWEIN bestimmter ANBAUGEBIET (AbA) – translating as ‘Quality wine of a particular region’. There are thirteen wine-growing regions or Anbaugebiete in Germany. The ones you’ll most likely encounter in the North America wine market, including the Mosel Saar Ruwer are: Nahe, Rheingau, Rheinhessen and the Pfalz. The remaining regions, Ahr, Mittelrhein, Baden, Franken, Wurttemburg, Hessiche Bergstrasse, Saale-Unstrut, and Saachsen are either much too small (Ahr and Hessiche Bergstrasse) or the domestic market leaves little to export (Baden for instance, which also imports a great deal of red wine).

QbA simply means that the grapes for this wine can only come from the specified region on the bottle. Blending between different regions is absolutely verboten. These wines are generally chaptalised with higher levels of sugar and alcohol.

BEFORE WE MOVE ON…
Let’s look at the different quality categories (found on QmP labeled German wines) indicating when the grapes are picked.
KABINETT – a wine made from grapes during the regular harvest. Normally a Kabinett wine will be low in alcohol and typically dry but there are variations and exceptions (see below). Kabinett wines are food-friendly but great with conversation.
SPÄTLESE (pronounced ‘SHPATE-lay-zuh’) – which means “late harvest” The grapes are riper, the intensity and strength is more full on. These wines can be either dry or blessed with a touch of sweetness.
AUSLESE (pronounced ‘OUSS-lay-zuh) – already mentioned…
BEERENAUSLESE (BA) (BEER-EN–ous-lay-zuh) “berry selected harvest”. These wines are rare, expensive and usually affected by noble rot, Botryis cinera, a friendly rot that concentrates the sugar of the grapes, giving these grapes a tangy-honey component. Not to be missed.
TROCKENBEERENAUSLESE (TBA) (TRAWCK-EN-BEER-EN-ouss-lay-zuh) – or ‘dry selected harvest’. Don’t let the dry fool you. These are rare, very sweet, very exquisite wines, made in the most exceptional of years. The individual grapes picked for these wines are shriveled up like raisins. It will take one person a full day just to select these grapes. The alcohol is low but the price isn’t.
EISWEIN (pronounced in German as ICE-vine) or Ice Wine. The grapes are usually picked in the early, early morning (2 or 3 am) by harvesters wearing gloves so their hands don’t warm up the grapes.

GUTSABFULLUNG – the wine was bottled at the estate of Joh.Jos. Christoffel Erben.
WEINGUT – meaning Wine Estate
MOSEL SAAR RUWER – one of the most famous Germany quality wine regions. The Mosel (Moselle in French) is a left tributary of the Rhine with the Saar and Ruwer being its tributaries. The vineyards in the Mosel are among the most beautiful and steepest in the world, making mechanical harvesting impossible and hand-picking a necessity. The high cost of labour is factored into the cost of these bottles.

You’ll also notice a lot of numbers on the wine label. This means the wine has been given a quality-approved number, letting the customer know that a special organization has approved of these wines.

Still with me?

FINAL WORD (INCLUDING THE EXCEPTIONS)
German Rieslings are perhaps, like Sherry from Jerez in Southern Spain, the most under-appreciated wines in the North American market. At the turn of the 20th century, they were the most sought after. But tastes change and so do perceptions. Many wine buyers are either put off by their labels or the sugar levels. Most fine German wines are not sweet, but rather intense and bold. The ones that are sweet are far less sugary than a can of cola.

It was in the 1960s that mass-produced German bulk wine (aka ‘sugar water’ like Liebfraumilch) came on the market and ruined Germany’s reputation for being regarded as a fine wine producer.

If you happen to like Riesling but are not partial or prepared for the occasional sweetness, there are ways to tell if the wine is going to be sweet or not.

First of all, some German wine labels will have the following words on their labels:
TROCKEN – meaning dry
HALBTROCKEN – ‘half-dry’ with up to 1.8% residual sugar.
FEINHERB – also indicates dry
CLASSIC – or ‘harmoniously dry’

Sometimes these words don’t appear. You can get a Kabinett that is sweet and a Spätlese that is dry. Many German wine producers are quite small but produce somewhere between 20 and 30 different wines. How can you tell if one is going to be sweeter than the other?


Well, the lower the alcohol, the sweeter the wine. Sugar converts into alcohol. The more sugar converted into alcohol, the less sugar left in the wine. This is the best way to tell.

Now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?

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About This Blog

My focus is mainly on wine culture, history and education. I love the stories behind wine - the people, places and the regional personalities of the wine-countries around the world.

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